21st Century Grandparenting

Gore Vidal once advised, "Never have children, only grandchildren." If you're lucky enough to have them (almost 75 percent of those older than age 65 do), perhaps you can relate.

Grandparenting benefits both the child and the adult. Children who have good relationships with their grandparents typically have higher self-esteem, better emotional and social skills, a healthy attitude toward aging and the elderly, and may even get better grades. For grandparents, it's instant joy.

According to Karen Fingerman, assistant professor at Pennsylvania State University, in a study that examined grandparent relationships, "grandchildren enhance in-the-moment pleasure."

Establishing a lasting relationship with your grandchild doesn't require lots of money, but it does require an investment-time.

Making regular contact with your grandchild is important. If you live nearby, this time might be spent enjoying a favorite activity. Doing everyday such as making dinner together can create memories that last well into adulthood. And it's not what you prepare that matters, it's that you're doing it together.

MORE CREATIVE SUGGESTIONS

A day spent together at the zoo or a park is fun, but investigate other possibilities too. Many cities have ethnic fairs, museums and botanical gardens that provide entertainment for both generations. Share your hobbies and interests, but don't forget to ask your grandchild what he or she would like to do.

Your own garage or attic can be a treasure trove as well. One of the traditional roles a grandparent fulfills is that of family historian. Most children enjoy seeing photographs and mementos of their parents' and grandparents' youths. Sharing a few at a time, depending on the child's age, is best. Let your grandchild's interest be your guide.

MAKE A DATE

If you're unable to visit in person, stay connected by calling, mailing or e-mailing. Send photographs and recordings of you reading a favorite story or singing a special song. You can even "share" a movie or TV show by tuning in at the same time and "discussing" it via e-mail .

SIMPLE GIFTS

Since grandparents are notorious gift-givers, continue the tradition with playful gifts. These don't need to be expensive, only imaginative. A 5-year-old will be thrilled with a magnifying glass or a set of magnets and a note suggesting activities.

Be sure your gift is appropriate for the child's age and skills and it's one parents won't object to. Never send a pet or other questionable gift without prior approval either.

Whatever you do, establishing a good relationship with your grandchildren will enrich your life and theirs.